Saturday, May 31, 2008
Dance
The dance perfornance went off well and the experience was so rich that it made the effort worthwhile. It made me feel that I can pick up the threads of this art once again. The union I felt of mind body and soul was a very satisfying and energising experience. The audiencde was very responsive and I hope I will continue with my dance in futre.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Experiments with Telepathy.
Telepathy has been of considerable interest to me and I feel it would be interesting to experiment with like minded people. Perhaps we could start by sending colors and words to each other and then get back to see if we could connect. Please let me know if you are game for this, tonight and next 3 nights at 10PM.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Day dream
I don't know if it was a dream or a trance but I saw something vividly and it did seem real. I can't recognize the place but it seemed like a place of worship and there was music. Such music that would stir your soul, what voices , what melody! And there were colors , colors of splendour. And it was all in a language that I don't speak but here I could understand everything. There were colors swirling with each melody , blues and yellows and greens and whites till it all became a dance of the cosmos. And who was that , an image ? a figure of absolute light and glow and in all this surreal experience a voice kept saying --let go ,liberate yourself, come to me for I love --- again and again. When I came to I was so charged and there was this strong longing to be there again. What could it mean? What was the place?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Driving in the rain
The weather has been so amazing these past few days that it is difficult to believe its May in Delhi.Yesterday when I was driving to office it was an experience. I think for the first time I noticed the colour of the leaves and the beautiful amaltas flowers washed in the rain. The whole array of colours hit me on roads and for once I drove really slow soaking in the fantastic scenes.The Bougenvillia in all its splendour looked so endearing in rain , so did the gulmohar. And the Rajpath especially looked so inviting with dark clouds hanging overhead , the lush green on the sides and the majestic India Gate in front. I could have watched it for hours. I had a rush of childhood urge------- to walk and run in the rain. And I really wished I could just leave the car and take a long walk in the rain. May be I will next time, office can wait!!!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Which Path?
I think this is the most intriguing as well as the most difficult question. I am sure I am in this world for a purpose , and in fullfilling this purpose I would also experience self-realisation but what is my path? How do I discover it? At times I feel its trial and error, at other times I feel it comes from within through intuition. But here again I also feel that am I allowing myself enough quiet to hear the voices from within?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
This is for you ladies!
Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes. I really liked it!
"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins and lies to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney
So What say you women?
"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins and lies to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney
So What say you women?
Sunday, May 18, 2008
A Long Life!
Each one of us somewhere deep down wants a long life, which I suppose is a natural desire.But I find that not many of us really figure out what we want to do in that long life.I mean the question that comes to my mind is what are we going to do with that long life when most of our life moments are devoted to mere existing and not even living. If the present moments are not committed to happiness and fullfilment will be doing it just by adding years and minutes to our lives? Will it really make a diffrence if we lived for 100 instead of 50? Will we die a more satisfied person just because we had a longer life? Its a question which is kind of churning me. Any ideas?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
MIRAGE
The Eucalyptus tree sways and swings,
the wrinkled arms thin by heat and dust,
the little river where water once flowed with joyous ripple,
now struggles with little muddy streams.
The skies of azure blue no longer fill the horizon,
and in the night the stars are hard to see.
The rickshaw puller struggles in the heat,
the lonely bus passenger looks for shade in vain.
The Small child carrying a burden twice his size,
I drift back to the eucalyptus tree,
The world outside my window Isn't.....free....
Thursday, May 15, 2008
From the start
A thought has been occurring again and again in my mind.If I were to throw everything out of the window and start afresh what would I like my life to be. And surprisingly I had no answer. One would have thought that this would be so easy but it isn't !!! Still waiting for an answer!!!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Love Letters continued.
Here is something that really touched my heart...
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace.I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for right.I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,smiles, tears, of all my life; "
Another one which left me very deeply touched....
"Do you know, when you have told me to think of you, I have been feeling ashamed of thinking of you so much, of thinking of only you--which is too much, perhaps. Shall I tell you? It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me--the fulness must be in proportion, you know, to the vacancy...and only I know what was behind--the long wilderness without the blossoming rose...and the capacity for happiness, like a black gaping hole, before this silver flooding. Is it wonderful that I should stand as in a dream, and disbelieve--not you--but my own fate?
Was ever any one taken suddenly from a lampless dungeon and placed upon the pinnacle of a mountain, without the head turning round and the heart turning faint, as mine do? And you love me more, you say?--Shall I thank you or God? Both,--indeed--and there is no possible return from me to either of you! I thank you as the unworthy may.. and as we all thank God. How shall I ever prove what my heart is to you? How will you ever see it as I feel it? I ask myself in vain. Have so much faith in me, my only beloved, as to use me simply for your own advantage and happiness, and to your own ends without a thought of any others--that is all I could ask you without any disquiet as to the granting of it--May God bless you! --"
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace.I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for right.I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,smiles, tears, of all my life; "
Another one which left me very deeply touched....
"Do you know, when you have told me to think of you, I have been feeling ashamed of thinking of you so much, of thinking of only you--which is too much, perhaps. Shall I tell you? It seems to me, to myself, that no man was ever before to any woman what you are to me--the fulness must be in proportion, you know, to the vacancy...and only I know what was behind--the long wilderness without the blossoming rose...and the capacity for happiness, like a black gaping hole, before this silver flooding. Is it wonderful that I should stand as in a dream, and disbelieve--not you--but my own fate?
Was ever any one taken suddenly from a lampless dungeon and placed upon the pinnacle of a mountain, without the head turning round and the heart turning faint, as mine do? And you love me more, you say?--Shall I thank you or God? Both,--indeed--and there is no possible return from me to either of you! I thank you as the unworthy may.. and as we all thank God. How shall I ever prove what my heart is to you? How will you ever see it as I feel it? I ask myself in vain. Have so much faith in me, my only beloved, as to use me simply for your own advantage and happiness, and to your own ends without a thought of any others--that is all I could ask you without any disquiet as to the granting of it--May God bless you! --"
Friday, May 9, 2008
Love Letter- more
I write to that light within me which illuminates me so completely, my only complaint ------- why is the flash so fleeting?
"When two souls, which have sought each other for,however long in the throng, have finally found each other...a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are...begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.This union is love, true love,...a religion, which deifies the loved one,whose life comes from devotion and passion,and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.This is the love which you inspire in me...Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels;but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension."
How can I capture the experience?
"When two souls, which have sought each other for,however long in the throng, have finally found each other...a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are...begins on earth and continues forever in heaven.This union is love, true love,...a religion, which deifies the loved one,whose life comes from devotion and passion,and for which the greatest sacrifices are the sweetest delights.This is the love which you inspire in me...Your soul is made to love with the purity and passion of angels;but perhaps it can only love another angel, in which case I must tremble with apprehension."
How can I capture the experience?
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Love letters
The need and desire to read & write love letters continues somehow. And the following two are classic.
"The passion of love has need to be productive of much delight; as where it takes thorough possession of the man, it almost unfits him for anything else. The lover who is certain of an equal return of affection, is surely the happiest of men; but he who is a prey to the horrors of anxiety and dreaded disappointment, is a being whose situation is by no means enviable. Of this, my present experience gives me much proof. To me, amusement seems impertinent, and business intrusion, while you alone engross every faculty of my mind. May I request you to drop me a line, to inform me when I may wait upon you? For pity's sake, do; and let me have it soon. In the meantime allow me, in all the artless sincerity of truth, to assure you that I truly am,your ardent lover, and devoted humble servant "
The second one
"...would I, if I could, supplant one of any of the affections that I know to have taken root in you - that great and solemn one, for instance. I feel that if I could get myself remade, as if turned to gold, I WOULD not even then desire to become more than the mere setting to that diamond you must always wear. The regard and esteem you now give me, and which I press to my heart and bow my head upon, is all I can take and all too embarrassing, using all my gratitude."
So totally from the heart it is touching. What is this ? A mirage? What do I want to experience?
"The passion of love has need to be productive of much delight; as where it takes thorough possession of the man, it almost unfits him for anything else. The lover who is certain of an equal return of affection, is surely the happiest of men; but he who is a prey to the horrors of anxiety and dreaded disappointment, is a being whose situation is by no means enviable. Of this, my present experience gives me much proof. To me, amusement seems impertinent, and business intrusion, while you alone engross every faculty of my mind. May I request you to drop me a line, to inform me when I may wait upon you? For pity's sake, do; and let me have it soon. In the meantime allow me, in all the artless sincerity of truth, to assure you that I truly am,your ardent lover, and devoted humble servant "
The second one
"...would I, if I could, supplant one of any of the affections that I know to have taken root in you - that great and solemn one, for instance. I feel that if I could get myself remade, as if turned to gold, I WOULD not even then desire to become more than the mere setting to that diamond you must always wear. The regard and esteem you now give me, and which I press to my heart and bow my head upon, is all I can take and all too embarrassing, using all my gratitude."
So totally from the heart it is touching. What is this ? A mirage? What do I want to experience?
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Love
Today as I was meditating I experienced a deep and overwhelming feeling of love. I do not know to whom this love was directed to but it made me want to express it. And after ages I felt like writing a letter of love. I was wondering who I should address it to, to my own self whom I stumbled upon intimately today or to that supreme force whatever we call it. Here is my attempt to word what I felt.....
"At this moment I feel as if my heart has grown so huge ,so big that my whole being has been encompassed by it, as if there is no other part in my body ,in my existence.A mere thought of you makes me feel as if a river of warm honey is flowing through me. So overwhelming is this all pervasive love that I cry. I cry out of joy and gratefulness and because the feeling is so complete,so fullfilling. I feel so humbled ,as if I was nothing, worthless till you came. I still can't believe it!!!
I have fallen(or risen) in love with you in a totally hopeless manner but that does not mean that I expect you to reciprocate. Its a strange feeling , I say strange because for the first time in my life and I really mean for the first time I am experiencing a love which just wants me to give, to do things for you and to just feel you in my soul. My whole existence now finds meaning only through you , if you laugh I feel as if sun has come out on a winter day. I feel like making everything your heart has ever desired come true for you. I don't think you realize how much positivity , how much sunshine you have. A mere chance encounter with you can be so inspiring and life changing for any one.
And today love I only want one thing , I want you to do whatever you please in life while I take care of the rest of the things, small and big. I want to say to you that Go Fly and if ever you fall I am there.I want my love to give you wings. Live on your terms and its my promise to see to it that your terms are always met.Be who you are and I will adjust, infact it will be my greatest pleasure to do so. I am a very ordinary person of no great qualities but today I feel I do have a great quality -- that you love me---this love has made me special----- I have met God , I have experienced Almighty through this love. Thank You for making me the happiest ,most extraordinarily fortunate person on this earth. You are my tapasya ,my deepest desire, my greatest blessing and if ever a frown dares to cross your brow I will be there to smoothen it and if any hardship comes your way it will have to go through me. I want to be anything you want me to be in your life. Whatever you want to make me. And honestly I feel whatever you make me will be better than whatever I can ever be my love.
Even the breeze which flows today envelopes me in love for I know the same breeze has somewhere touched you. And there is so much of you in me now that it does not matter where you are, I experience you within me. Every leaf, every flower , every moment all my eyes can see is you,all my ears can hear is you. I feel as if I am standing on the shores of an ocean , ocean of the love I feel for you . Every time a wave comes it drenches me in love and each wave is higher than the other. Oh! who could be more blessed than me for I have forgotten my own name in love.
Your mere thought makes me love myself because you are in every pore of me. There is no more of me there is only you, I have lost myself in you.
Soul ly yours "
"At this moment I feel as if my heart has grown so huge ,so big that my whole being has been encompassed by it, as if there is no other part in my body ,in my existence.A mere thought of you makes me feel as if a river of warm honey is flowing through me. So overwhelming is this all pervasive love that I cry. I cry out of joy and gratefulness and because the feeling is so complete,so fullfilling. I feel so humbled ,as if I was nothing, worthless till you came. I still can't believe it!!!
I have fallen(or risen) in love with you in a totally hopeless manner but that does not mean that I expect you to reciprocate. Its a strange feeling , I say strange because for the first time in my life and I really mean for the first time I am experiencing a love which just wants me to give, to do things for you and to just feel you in my soul. My whole existence now finds meaning only through you , if you laugh I feel as if sun has come out on a winter day. I feel like making everything your heart has ever desired come true for you. I don't think you realize how much positivity , how much sunshine you have. A mere chance encounter with you can be so inspiring and life changing for any one.
And today love I only want one thing , I want you to do whatever you please in life while I take care of the rest of the things, small and big. I want to say to you that Go Fly and if ever you fall I am there.I want my love to give you wings. Live on your terms and its my promise to see to it that your terms are always met.Be who you are and I will adjust, infact it will be my greatest pleasure to do so. I am a very ordinary person of no great qualities but today I feel I do have a great quality -- that you love me---this love has made me special----- I have met God , I have experienced Almighty through this love. Thank You for making me the happiest ,most extraordinarily fortunate person on this earth. You are my tapasya ,my deepest desire, my greatest blessing and if ever a frown dares to cross your brow I will be there to smoothen it and if any hardship comes your way it will have to go through me. I want to be anything you want me to be in your life. Whatever you want to make me. And honestly I feel whatever you make me will be better than whatever I can ever be my love.
Even the breeze which flows today envelopes me in love for I know the same breeze has somewhere touched you. And there is so much of you in me now that it does not matter where you are, I experience you within me. Every leaf, every flower , every moment all my eyes can see is you,all my ears can hear is you. I feel as if I am standing on the shores of an ocean , ocean of the love I feel for you . Every time a wave comes it drenches me in love and each wave is higher than the other. Oh! who could be more blessed than me for I have forgotten my own name in love.
Your mere thought makes me love myself because you are in every pore of me. There is no more of me there is only you, I have lost myself in you.
Soul ly yours "
Friday, May 2, 2008
Guru & Me!
Me: What is my purpose in life?
Guru:Purpose is simple,don't look far.See God, experience God , not in your temples , not in your books but within you , in your heart & soul. Find me there and your purpose in life is served.You are a river keep flowing and I flow with you, look within for all that is outside is only a reflection ,an illusion.You are the truth, you are him.Realise this and you are free forever.
Me: What is this sudden upheavel within me & outside of me?
Guru:What you call upheavel is that really an upheavel? It is a churning, it is reaching out to self-realisation while lot of things pull you back.It is getting rid of elements which have served their purpose in your life. It is further experiences which you must have before you find yourself.The voice calls you now. Without these experiences the iron of your soul in not hot enough for me to stike.
Me:Why are things not getting clear to me?
Guru:Are you sure they are not getting clear? When have you felt this strong a longing to unite with your being?This single minded urge? Time has come seize the moment.
Me:Why do I feel so tied to people, esp. to people I am related to by birth?
Guru:Is a tree related to anyone by birth or the river,or the stars or the wind? Then why you? You are their karma and they are yours .All your life people will come into your life because of karma.But learn to let go when its over.All of them come to give you a chance to close chapters, even people you feel tied to by birth.If god wanted you to be tied to them forever he would keep you in Mother's womb forever and not send you in this world as an individual, A whole new human being.
Me:Why do these relationships affect then?
Guru:Because you are attached. And not just to people, to things as well.You lose a watch you are affected, you see a person you are related to unhappy you are affected.You are so attached and this in itself is ironical.You are a free spirit, why do you want to be like a bonded slave.The world you live in tells you that you are less of a human being if you are not attached and you believe it.How can you be attached? Attachment needs a past and a future but the soul exists only in the now.Leave the past it has served its purpose and its gone, future never comes so wat are you attached to?
Guru:Purpose is simple,don't look far.See God, experience God , not in your temples , not in your books but within you , in your heart & soul. Find me there and your purpose in life is served.You are a river keep flowing and I flow with you, look within for all that is outside is only a reflection ,an illusion.You are the truth, you are him.Realise this and you are free forever.
Me: What is this sudden upheavel within me & outside of me?
Guru:What you call upheavel is that really an upheavel? It is a churning, it is reaching out to self-realisation while lot of things pull you back.It is getting rid of elements which have served their purpose in your life. It is further experiences which you must have before you find yourself.The voice calls you now. Without these experiences the iron of your soul in not hot enough for me to stike.
Me:Why are things not getting clear to me?
Guru:Are you sure they are not getting clear? When have you felt this strong a longing to unite with your being?This single minded urge? Time has come seize the moment.
Me:Why do I feel so tied to people, esp. to people I am related to by birth?
Guru:Is a tree related to anyone by birth or the river,or the stars or the wind? Then why you? You are their karma and they are yours .All your life people will come into your life because of karma.But learn to let go when its over.All of them come to give you a chance to close chapters, even people you feel tied to by birth.If god wanted you to be tied to them forever he would keep you in Mother's womb forever and not send you in this world as an individual, A whole new human being.
Me:Why do these relationships affect then?
Guru:Because you are attached. And not just to people, to things as well.You lose a watch you are affected, you see a person you are related to unhappy you are affected.You are so attached and this in itself is ironical.You are a free spirit, why do you want to be like a bonded slave.The world you live in tells you that you are less of a human being if you are not attached and you believe it.How can you be attached? Attachment needs a past and a future but the soul exists only in the now.Leave the past it has served its purpose and its gone, future never comes so wat are you attached to?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Happiness & Me
Will anybody be happier because I passed their way? Will anyone remember that I spoke to them today? When the day is over and the hard work is through; Will anyone say a kind word about me or you?
Will I say tonight as I'm going off to sleep I helped a single person of the many that I passed?
Will a single heart be happy over what I'll do or say? Will a person who feels really down be happy in some way?
Will I just waste today?
Will I say tonight as I'm going off to sleep I helped a single person of the many that I passed?
Will a single heart be happy over what I'll do or say? Will a person who feels really down be happy in some way?
Will I just waste today?
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